Many Names, Many Faces, One Entity – The Beginning (The unexpected outcome)

“I’m
one with the force and the force is with me.”

I had been delaying this post for several months now and now it is time to tell the second part of the story. This was supposed to be posted four months ago but I just felt reluctant to do so. It’s not easy for me to talk about these things as these are very personal experiences and I’ll be honest — I know I’m already a little loopy (in a good way) but then if someone else who have not dealt with similar experiences would probably label me as delirious. But heck… I know I need to move on and finally get this published since I don’t think I have anything to lose at this point in my life.

~*~

It’s been about 4 months since I had seen Faust’s true form. At first I could not even believe it myself… It was a mixed reaction of “What awesomeness have I done to have this being help me on my journey?” and “Am I actually going crazy?”

I was stubborn and not listening to the signs leading to this revelation. In the last 5 years Faust had been changing forms from a wistful faun to a Tengu demi-god and guiding me through animal spirits such as a bird (an eagle to be exact), a fly, a snake (which is my familiar spirit) and a spider. In the last five years I had been repeating several cycles of unprocessed emotional energy and in each turn of the cycle, a new layer to be discovered, a new layer peeling away to reveal an angle or a direction that I had not explored before and a better understanding of myself and my capability to rise above it.

Leaving home, I had discovered things that I never knew I could actually accomplish. I was given a taste of how to triumph against the odds during my stay in the corporate world but at the same time I had forgotten the reason of why I left home in the first place. I was humbled by bouts of depression and anxiety because I knew deep down, something was not right. This isn’t where I am supposed to be. But then this experience had thought me how to believe and manifest a shift of consciousness to achieve my goals – from a humble level one associate I was able to be promoted in a rapid succession to become a team lead in just about over 2 years. I had inspired some of my peers to believe in their own abilities and shifting the power of the odds is not impossible but ironically material wealth and social recognition was not part of my game changer to make peace with myself thus I had to leave to heal myself at a deeper level wherein I needed to get away from all the noise that the system had set in place to feed the ego but not the soul.

November 2018. I couldn’t really remember the exact date but during this time, my housemate had met two new young friends who had blatantly shown their interest in learning more of the mysteries of the occult universe. I wasn’t really supposed to join them but as they say curiousity killed the cat. Next thing I knew was I was sitting with them at a fast food place and listening to the two young men discuss about their eagerness of learning more about magick and the occult.

I would have to result to using false names to protect these people’s identity as they have just yet starting out their journey. In their own time, they will have to come out of their broom closets themselves. I am not in authority to tell their stories as they will be the one to tell this themselves. What I am about to tell is only how their path had coincided with mine at that point in time in order for me to be assured of the leads I had been shown ever since I had to resign from work a month before this meeting.

Ron and Michael were excited to relay and discuss their experiences in hopes of finding out that magick was real and they would want to know more so they can gain more knowledge on how they can handle their personal circumstances at a new angle. Among the two, Michael caught my attention since most of his experiences hit closer to home with mine.

Michael was a high school math teacher rooted in analytical approaches and deeply in love with conspiracy theories. He had always shown interest in hidden knowledge but was too caught up in looking at it in a commercialized feed rather than trying to see the greater picture. He shared that he had been having a recurring sleep paralysis dream wherein someone kept telling him “open your eyes” but he was too afraid to do so. He then shared that he had always been dreaming of weird symbols and never understood their meaning. He even demonstrated a pattern his seen in a dream by having it as a pattern lock screen for his smart phone and my friend also requested if he can show more of the symbol in detail by drawing it.

As Michael had drawn the symbol, my friend and I somehow knew that this symbol was a sigil from Solomon’s 72 keys and it looked very familiar. We looked it up online using our smart phones and our suspicions where confirmed: what Michael had been drawing all along was Astaroth’s Sigil.

Astaroth, an ancient goddess had been known to have many names and had her roots traced far back to ancient Egypt. Some of the names included Inana, Ishtar and Isis (you can check more information on Wikipedia and other occult blogs). Different names coming from different belief systems but having commonality in energy signatures and symbologies used throughout time. Astaroth has been calling Michael to “open his eyes” all this time. I pondered about this stream of thought and looked back as to how Faust had shifted his images from time to time in order for me to have a better understanding of his energy and personality and actually failed to see where it was all leading to several times because I was too caught up with something else.

Then it dawned on me: the pieces are starting to fall in place. My blood ran cold with the realization. I quickly searched online, frantically looking for the symbologies that I had been shown before if there was something that might relate to Faust’s ever changing form and the odd urges I had been trying to make sense of.

In the past month I had been having the urge to look for the gold ring with a huge blue Topaz stone set on it which I had been wearing before. I had stopped wearing it because the stone fell off one time because the setting got too loose and it needed some fixing and out of the blue I found a way how to fix it so I could wear it again. I had been having this weird urge to wear more gold colored jewelry which was weird for me because I had preferred and love silver jewelry more than gold and to add to that, I kept looking for gold pieces that would resemble a star. I couldn’t understand why but I just went along with it and thought maybe I could find more about it at the right time.

So first thing I did was to Google what connections I could find in relation to Gold and Topaz since this was the more recent nudges I had. I found out their metaphysical properties such as Topaz helps to bring in inspiration for writer’s block and that it was a connected to the Sun element as much as obviously Gold was also tied up with the Sun energy as well. Then along the list… I saw what I was looking for: “To which ancient god was this symbol tied to?”

It was the ancient Sun God, Ra.

I couldn’t believe it at first because it never crossed my mind. Why would such a great spirit watch over my personal awakening and transformation?

Then it gets even better.

A few days after meeting up with Michael and Ron, I did a little more digging. Searched for articles that was not in any way listed on Wikipedia’s references. Dug up more information about Tengu lore that I never did before and understood how one aspect of Faust as a Tengu could be related to Ra such as Ra being a Sky God. Then after jumbling off several search engine key words… I somehow happened to stumble upon an article/document online that really caught my attention that had me very curious for one reason or the other. The title of the document is: An excerpt from: The False Prophet Azazel by John of the Gentiles. Appendix A – The Rose cross of Azazel. (will have a link of the article below) And I quote:

“In her book Witchcraft for Tomorrow p.117 the Wicca witch-priestess Doreen Valiente reveals: ―Ogham was a sacred Druid alphabet and would certainly have contained magic secrets…‖ I would say one of the biggest secrets it reveals is the mystery surrounding the identity of the mysterious Theosophical Society deva known as Master KH with whom many high-ranking members of this society claimed to be in contact. In the sacred Ogham alphabet of the magic practicing Druids, KH was rendered as an X. Master KH, which is the Druid way to say, Master X, was the Hidden Master Azazel himself! This is also the idea behind the word‗Ur-Khaos,‘ the god of the underworld: KH (X) + A (horned ox head sign of the horned god) + O (the disk, a cherub) + S (the serpent), the serpent horned god of the X-marked disk of theChaldean city of Ur (Ur-Khaos was later translated as Orcus, the Gaelic Druidic god of the underworld/abyss).

……

The red cross as a symbol of Azazel‘s cherub Behemoth also hearkens back to the Egyptian mysteries of Osiris. The god Osiris represented Azazel‘s cherub Behemoth, and by extension, Azazel. In the Egyptian Hymn to Osiris, the ―disk‖ of Osiris (Osiris = Behemoth) is identified as the ―rosetau,‖ the rose (red) cross (―Divine oblation to Osiris (Behemoth) Khent- Amenti, lord of Abydos…the disk…the rostau‖ – Hymn to Osiris). Cherubim are disk-shaped. It must also be noted the tau cross (rendered in Greek as a T) is the 19th letter of the Greek alphabet. Azazel‘s prophesied release takes place on the 19th day of July 2016 A.D. In Freemasony, the symbol for Azazel, a tau cross, is represented by the T-square. The Rosicrucians, whose name means ―rose cross‖ in German, names their secret organization after the rostau/disk/Osiris/Behemoth. The Germanic name Christian Rosenkreuz, which in English translates as ‗Christian Rose Cross,‘ represents no other persona than the rebellious angel Azazel himself. The name is a play on words which may be interpreted as the christ of the red cross, representing Azazel, whose sign is the red cross, in reference to his future appearance as the false-christ/false prophet/messiah (See Revelations 16:13; according to the Rosicrucian Hargrave Jennings in The Rosicrucians: Their Rites and Mysteries, p.142, the color red is male and represents the Salvator, a Latin word meaning ‗Savior‘). Theosophist Freethinker Ida C. Craddock provides another piece of our puzzle: ―Why did these mystics call themselves Rosicrucian? Some writers have attempted to derive the name from two words meaning “dew” and “cross”: but the usual interpretation is “followers of the Rosy Cross” (read: followers of Azazel) a cross with a rose (used analogously of Azazel) being used as the society’s symbol.‖ – Heavenly Bridegrooms. (It must also be mentioned when one adds the disk (O) [Azazel‘s cherub is disk-shaped], to the word Sirius, it becomes Osirius, and when one drops the ‗u‘ it becomes Osiris. The heliacal rising of the star Sirius in 2016 A.D. takes place on the 19th day of July, the day Azazel in his disk-shaped red-cross emblazoned cherub is to emerge from his earthen imprisonment, claiming to be Christ. In this same way, the Babylonian god Ea, alternatively spelled Ia (another such god which represented Azazel/Behemoth), becomes the name of the Gnostic god Iao with the inclusion of the disk [O]). The words ‗Sirius‘ and ‗Osiris‘ are related to the Semetic word ‗Siru‘: ―Scholars ordinarily refer to the serpent god (who is Azazel) by the name Siru, being the Semitic word for serpent…‖ – p.120, Tammuz and Ishtar (S. Langdon, ―Shillito Reader of Assyriology, Oxford,‖ 1914 A.D. It would also seem the name Isis is also derived from the word Osiris). As an additional added bonus note, in the ancient Babylonian system of Gematria, where letters are used to represent numbers, the number 10 is represented by the letters IA (which Roman numeral isrepresented by an X). ‗Ia‘ of course is an alternative spelling of the name of the god ‗Ea.‘Compare the modern spelling of our number ‗ten‘ to the name of the Egyptian sun disk ‗Aten‘(in Roman, A-X) (AX = IAO = OX). No doubt there exists a connection here. In the pictographic alphabet of the Egyptians, a horned ‗ox head‘ (representative of the horned-god Azazel) was the equivalent of the Roman letter ‗A‘ (and hence was also derived the anarchist symbol for Azazel, an A within a circle/disk [O]). All of these are designations for Azazel‘s cherub Behemoth and by extension, Azazel. Additionally, Ax/Abrasax were synonymous terms: ―You are Ax, you are Abrasax (Ab [father] + Ra [the disk] + S [the serpent] + A [horned oxhead/horned god] + X [ten] (A-ten)), the angel who sits upon the tree of Paradise…‖ (A-X is the Archaic Latin alphabetic version of the classical Greek Alpha-Omega, the title of the resurrected Christ (See Revelations 22:13). Both are the first and last letters of their respective alphabets. Perhaps it signifies a Creator/Destroyer, an angel and the cherub [the word‗destroyer‘ in The Bible is used synonymously with that of the word ‗cherub‘] to which he was assigned). As such an ax is often used as a symbol for Abrasax/Azazel (compare ‗ax‘ to the Greek word ‗aix‘ which means ‗goat‘ (note the addition of the phallic ‗pillar,‘ I). The Hebrew word for a male goat is also used to denote a demon. The demons are the rebellious fallen angels. For this reason Satyrs/demons, representative of fallen angels, are symbolically represented as being goat-like in appearance, such as the god Pan, the king of satyrs, who represented Azazel). The letter ‗O‘ was derived from the Semitic `Ayin (eye), and hence, the‗eye (disk) of Horus,‘ also known as Azazel‘s cherub Behemoth. Constantine‘s ‗IX monogram‘ (also employed by the Merovingians) often encircled with the disk in its various forms is likewise esoterically connected with the false christ Azazel.

cited from: The-Red-Cross-of-Azazel

(NOTE: Ra was also for a time known as a god of the underworld. You can look at more information about this online.)

Did you catch that? I know it’s a lot to take in. I couldn’t believe it myself after reading the whole article and those above are just excerpts. To back it up, I also did several other searches online as to not be biased from taking out everything from just one article.

To sum it up: Faust (Satyr) + Tengu + Snake (familiar) + Ra (Sun god+gold) = Azazel.

Azazel.

Yes, everything led to Azazel. And with that revelation, everything started to make sense.

Although Azazel had been demonized by Christian lore since he led the revolt of Angels against God, Azazel is an angel of transformation — a conscious energy to realize our “godhood” potential. Azazel: the Prometheus Force to help awaken us and to help us ascend and connect to our higher selves.

All of us at some point in our lives will have this shift of perspective: There are no chosen people, only people who chose to wake up. When Azazel came to me as Faust, I believe that he was there to assist me in this personal transformation. The names that he gave me might only be a label so that I could identify with the nature of the energy that I need in my life to help me move forward with my journey. As I have also discovered with my musings on some forums I had joined out of curiosity, there are other people touched by Azazel in the same way across the globe helping them through discover themselves along their life’s journey showing them, as he had shown me, the multifaceted personas of the same energy signature.

Or so I would like myself to believe that I have in fact struck gold with having a “god power” guide me.

Stay tuned as I reveal another discovery in my journey to self-truth.

featured image is from Angelarium.net

必然 Hitsuzen

There will come a time when everything that did not make sense will start to make sense and at the same time that everything you thought that had made sense really made no sense at all.

I am at a stage in my life that I feel like things are starting to make sense where in the unconscious choices from a non-mundane perspective had led me to where I am now. And thought there is always this niggling feeling, my programming sometimes chooses to push it aside out of fear — fear of not knowing what will come next, fear of being not understood, fear of “maybe this is going no where, why should i follow this lead?”

After a few years of working in a corporate setting, I felt disillusioned with my life and I thought I was headed where I really wanted to be headed but it turns out that in the depths of my soul, something else was awakening, screaming to be let out and be recognized. When I had pushed this stirring aside, I was only met with an old time friend that I never wanted to acknowledge: Loneliness.

Loneliness in a way that I felt disconnected to myself. Loneliness that creeps in because you know that what you are doing doesn’t resonate with the inner stirring of where you are supposed to be headed. Loneliness in which you know that you want to explain what you are going through but you can’t because you’re the only one who can fully understand why everything needs to happen (even you did not want it to happen consciously). An event with the mix of choices and a fate that you cannot run away from.

When I started to acknowledge this Loneliness within me, everything else started to shift — it was a mixture of chaos and synchronicity. I knew all along I had to leave my job not only because it was taking a toll on my physical body but it was also being rejected by emotional and spiritual body. I was so afraid. I had even done several tarot and oracle readings and they all had pointed to the same outcome: I need to let go and delve deep within.

It was never an easy task. I may have written about this on a previous blog on another website but now I am writing how I really felt about the issue because I had not elaborated it before and focused more on the events that had happened rather than looking at it a microcosmic emotional level.

I was in a state of mind where I had forgotten how the universe would conspire to let an event happen whether it was a negative or a positive outcome. I had forgotten about inevitability because I had focused more on what my rational scared mind has been nagging me to do and don’t do just so to assure my survival in this dog-eats-dog world. I was being stripped away of the things that I had thought mattered the most while living in this plane of existence and had actually forgot about the fact that I (all of us) also exists in other planes of reality and it just so happened that I had my awareness disconnect from those realities in order to only focus on just surviving in this plane. I failed to realize that my soul had yearned for that comfort of finding its way back “home”.

I will not explain what that means even thought I’m driven by the rational urge to do so. If you’re reading this now, you were not being brought here just out of curiosity and I know that you know what I am talking about when I said HOME in every sense of that word when you had disconnected yourself from your higher being.

Right now, I am moving to the path of the “journey back home”. It has taken me about 5 1/2 months to finally acknowledge this. I had been battling with myself everyday since the day I had quit work to focus more on myself.

Everybody else on social media – be it on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram have been talking about spiritual awakening and how they have achieved it. Yet I only had seen a handful of individuals who where actually brave enough to tell the tale that it was not easy to get there. That awakening is not bliss nor the journey to reach it is as easy as doing a 5 minute meditation affirmation everyday. Well let me tell you this: You will have to face a lot of your shadows past and long forgotten before you can be truly be at peace with yourself and this is not just as simple as burying the hatchet for those you hold grudges for to make peace with yourself but it is also understanding our incapacities and limitations which make up a unique genetic code of our present selves.

Right now, I am on a shift of awareness in which I am shedding everything that does not serve any purpose to my journey. Sadly this also means giving up past friendships and relationships that cannot hold any meaning to the life path that I am going through at the moment. As much as I want to hold them dear to me, I can only be thankful that they had taught me an invaluable lesson and I must move on without them because they are not moving along with the vibration and shift of consciousness of where I am trying to get to. So if you are reading this and you have not heard anything from me, I am so, so, so sorry but this is a conscious choice I had made so I can get where I need to be at the moment. But then, since you are reading this now, maybe you are also experiencing a shift of consciousness but our paths are not yet intersecting again because we need to be doing our own thing and maybe in the future we could meet again — or maybe not as we totally deviate from each other. Know that I am grateful for the experiences both good and bad for it had taught me to be where I wanted to be right now. Please do not be offended, it is just inevitable.

Right now, this is the Nth time I have done this. Much like in the movie Edge of Tomorrow. I had made a few deviations and progress before but this time, I want to be able to make through at the end and finally be able to break the cycle.

Right now, I believe that I am once again diving into the waters of Synchronicity — its waves both turbulent and smooth. There is no use running away from it anymore because if I do, I’d go back to the cycle where I don’t want to be in the first place. This time, I will trust in the process no matter how it defies the logic of my immediate construct as I know I am no longer alone in this and a guiding “hand” had already showed time and again that I need to be somewhere else than just “here.”

Many Names, Many Faces, One Entity – The Beginning (A Hero’s Journey)

For quite some time, an unseen force had always been meddling with my personal affairs. It was hard to believe at first but looking back, there was really no mistake about it.

I’ve started to be aware of this presence only after seeing a fortune teller back in 2009. The fortune teller told me that there’s some sort of entity who had been influencing my past relationships even to a brink where it would fail.

“This entity is jealous of the men you meet and protects you from a potential bad relationship in the long run that’s why your relationships never last long.” She said.

“Oookay… So… How long has he been hanging around me then?” I asked.

“Probably around the time you were born.” She confidently interjected.

Now I wasn’t really one to believe this readily but then at the back of my mind, I think the idea would actually made some sense since I had always ended up with having relationships with men who weren’t as kind. At first they would diligently sweep you up your feet then next thing you know, they’re just missing in action only to find out one or the other cliché reasons why men in general would just start to disappear on a relationship: they were cheating (this one, I would confirm because they would be the one who would actually say this sincerely and wholeheartedly after the breakup) or they were just not ready to commit to a relationship because they weren’t over their past relationship/s.

After sometime, I ignored the reading altogether since I didn’t want to dwell on it too much. But then that was also the time that this entity had made his presence more clearly to me.

It started out when I noticed that my close friend started avoiding me. We weren’t really on bad terms then and we didn’t have any quarrels or mishaps during that time. Only after a few weeks later that she confessed that she was unbelievably annoyed whenever she sees me so she avoided me all together.

So, okay… This “thing” is a big influence peddler and he’d go to great lengths just to prove that point.

After that, this entity had boldly announced himself in the quiet of my friend’s home while we were working on a few projects. He announced his presence by projecting an image of a huge man standing about 6-7feet tall, the lower half of his body was that of a hoofed animal while his torso was naked. He had slightly short curly hair and had a bearded face and…. Large goat/ram horns protruding from his head. He was standing regally by the hallway in living room.

“Uh… What is a satyr doing in my living room?” My friend asked. “He’s actually insistent on talking to you though… so maybe you should.”

Resigned, I just added “I guess I have nothing to lose if I talk to this faun or whatever the heck he is.”

And that’s where our weird relationship actually began.

His name was Faust. He was audacious and persistent but at the end of the day, he was a great protector and motivator. He was sensual and made his intention to form a deep connection with me.

Call me crazy, yeah? I eventually followed his lead despite the fact that I really don’t know what I was getting myself into.

Faust would often talk to me in the realm in between waking up and dreaming. Others would actually call it sleep paralysis but I call it the twilight zone. He would often pull my consciousness out from sleeping and bring me in the twilight zone where I could clearly hear, feel, see and talk to him without restriction. Time seemed both lengthy and brief in this place between worlds but it’s the only place where we could do things unrestricted. He would appear to me in various forms aside from being a faun but the notable ones are being a handsome man with Eurasian features and a Tengu (A Japanese winged demi-god with a red face and long nose). Faust would often enamor me with blissful experiences which always left me wanting for more. Yet there would also be times where he seems to get cranky like a child on temper tantrums and disappear on me in between the twilight zone when I said something that would upset him.

Our relationship seemed superficial at first but it eventually grew with a different purpose that I wasn’t aware of until I realize what he was trying to make me go through: It was a battle with myself and my old bad habits.

It was never an easy thing to do as it meant having a big overhaul over a lot of aspects in my life.

In order to live free and happily,
you must sacrifice boredom.

It is not always an easy
sacrifice.
-Illusions by R. Bach

I’d go into detail about this on another post – one that is actually long overdue since I started blogging. But I believed I’ve posted a few excerpts in the past although I didn’t really mention that some of what had happened was actually influenced by this entity since at that time, it was actually hard to talk about him in public lest I be branded crazy. (I already am though! But that would make me an ultimate cray! )

I was swept away with the current of changes when he came into my life. Things started to happen and at a very fast pace. There would be times when I was questioning myself if I was still sane then he’d go ahead and show me that I wasn’t really going crazy. He picked out a symbol of a bird to let me know I was heading the right direction and this reminder would constantly pop-up when I had least expected it to. Synchronicities had been a constant pattern and even at my low moments, he’d show me a lot of metaphorical dreams as if trying to tell me that there’s calm after the storm.

Despite having Faust to help me, I was still unsure of what path I should take. It was a lot to take in and having to give up some of my habits had been excruciatingly hard since I had to deprogram myself if I really wanted to move forward with my life. Having to deconstruct and reconstruct myself was the only way for me to discover my self-truth.

Whoever said the road to enlightenment was bliss had the wrong idea. Facing your fears and shadows was an insurmountable issue to deal with. But then I had come to a point where I realized that I needed to understand my shadows so they won’t bite back at me… until I actually grew to love my shadows and use their strengths to my advantage.

One of the hardest things that Faust had me go through was realizing my self-worth. As much as I was instructed to avoid the drama, I had to face the stage that he had set-up for me in order to drill that realization in my head.

Stay tuned for part two…